Things I Find Funny

Oblivious Costco Shopper Jams Up Interstore Traffic

2009-03-08T23:02:00.000-07:00

SEATTLE, WA—A middle-aged Asian woman, probably Chinese, visited irritation and tardiness upon hundreds of Costco shoppers Sunday by guiding her cart slowly and carelessly throughout the busiest sections of the warehouse. Managers confirmed that more than half of the afternoon's patrons were blocked, wedged out, and otherwise prevented from adequate access to samples by her haphazard wanderings – from the televisions at the front of the store, all the way to the frozen taquitos in the utmost back. "It's like she's just killing time in here," said shopper Kevin McNeal. "I came for smoke detectors, but had to detour down the mattress aisle while she fumbled with pulling on her jacket." Added McNeal, "She's a menace." At press time, the woman was holding up the entire security line at the store exit while she struggled to retrieve her receipt from her purse.

Behind in the Count

2009-02-20T09:00:00.000-08:00

Nice reversal, Purple.

Syndication

2009-02-19T20:40:00.000-08:00

Sloppy, balding, gaining weight... In the space between Diagnosis Murder and Touched By An Angel, Paul began his mid-life crisis.

Last Known Photo: Chuy

2008-08-27T19:10:00.000-07:00

If a Tree Falls...

2008-08-26T21:46:00.000-07:00

Upon returning home, Kevin immediately showed this photo to no one.

...

2008-08-26T18:13:00.000-07:00

Best in Show

2008-08-24T18:29:00.000-07:00

As only a purebred can do, Moses lays one right in the judge's hand.

3 Minutes in the Park

2008-08-24T18:20:00.000-07:00

The stranger's offer was plenty sweet, but Rudy's little detour cost him his career.

Soul Hunter #1

2008-07-24T21:01:00.000-07:00

Captured!

Freedom Hall

2008-06-05T08:00:00.000-07:00

A disappointed Madge silently curses the days her grandchildren were born.

Photo by Major Chisholm, www.flickr.com/photos/creativeliberty

Santa Two-Step

2008-05-16T23:35:00.000-07:00

Bottom line: that Christmas saw a ton of rain.

Last Known Photo: Adam

2008-05-16T23:05:00.000-07:00

Block Party

2008-05-16T22:42:00.000-07:00

Not the last time, but the time before that, Dean woke up in Germantown with only his left ear to guide him.

The Table Round

2008-05-16T22:21:00.000-07:00

Kenny returns, full and fresh from questing at his local IHOP.

Under New Management

2008-04-06T18:16:00.000-07:00

Everything's good, but I usually get the waffles.

We Got the Party

2008-04-04T12:34:00.001-07:00

Little-known fact: Hasidim do not like being photographed.
Lesser-known fact: They just can't get enough Miley Cyrus.

Last Known Photo: Scott

2008-03-17T17:58:00.001-07:00

Assembled Super Heroes of 1919

2008-02-25T06:00:00.000-08:00

Click photo to enlarge

Back Row: Larry "Indian Style" Thompkins. Washwoman Sally, and her children: Harriet Tubman, Miss Michael, and Left Eye. Tatiana and The Ambassador.

Third Row: "Poker Face" Mark Martin. Unidentified, and her Lady in Waiting. Baby-Needs-A-Change. Mother Mary Jr., and Pardo, the Wonder Boy.

Second Row: James "Nothing Sacred" Flanagan. Mother Mary Sr. Fourhead-No-Wait-Five, with Little Charlie Chan. The Countess. Jiggler John and his wife, Old Time Christina Ricci.

Front Row: Eats-It-Raw McGraw. Mr. Invisible, Makes Your Problems Go Away. Lucinda and the Unborn Child. Common street urchins (x2).

Two to Tango

2008-02-24T20:16:00.001-08:00

...at which point Zelda entered another plane of existence, and her partner found it difficult to keep up.

The Daily Grind

2008-02-21T22:02:00.001-08:00

Robyn joined the carpool for the sake of the environment, but there was a heated exchange, and she eventually left.

...

2008-02-20T22:20:00.001-08:00

System Failure

2008-02-19T18:53:00.000-08:00

There is no justice.

Dear Thomas...

2007-10-02T12:45:00.000-07:00

Lest there be any doubt.

Cub Scout Training

2007-10-01T12:00:00.000-07:00

Fearing the worst, Barry got two.

Olympic Gold

2007-09-30T23:00:00.000-07:00

Sadly, competitive diving just isn't ready for Luther's body type.

...

2007-09-29T22:00:00.000-07:00

De Gustibus Non Est Disputandum

2007-09-28T14:56:00.000-07:00

Felix had some initial concerns that the boa diminished the shot's taste and artistry.

Being Supportive

2007-08-06T08:00:00.000-07:00

...and I walked right up to him, and I told him, "God bless you, son. Thank you for your sacrifice."

Fatta the Lan'

2007-08-05T21:13:00.000-07:00

His name was Dan'l Simpson, the Peep-Show King, and my gut told me not to trust him. However, my gut was also very hungry.

Wax Nostalgic

2007-07-15T16:16:00.001-07:00

...It just wasn't as much fun as I remembered.

Figment of My Exaggeration

2007-07-11T17:13:00.000-07:00

Yeah, right. Moswen battled an overactive thyroid his entire life, that's all I'm sayin'.

C.O.D.

2007-06-19T21:11:00.000-07:00

A dog barks. A gust of wind.
She's gonna make a great wife.

Scar Tissue

2007-06-18T21:32:00.001-07:00

As a heavy child, Sherri learned that the jokes hurt less if she made them first.

Sightings

2007-06-13T20:57:00.000-07:00

The Blank takes some time out of his hectic schedule for one lucky fan Uptown.

Riff-Raff

2007-06-12T20:21:00.000-07:00

The kid was asking for it. Only Indofu's deep respect for the Blessed Mother's legacy stood in the way.

Hard Living

2007-06-11T20:30:00.001-07:00

Mick had it all. The cars, the ladies, the denim--but he never did settle down. For my money, he was addicted to the thrill of the chase, and the fast-paced lifestyle of high finance.

On Motherhood

2007-06-08T23:26:00.001-07:00

9:17 AM. Baby gets his precious lava cake.

Family Portrait

2007-06-07T12:19:00.000-07:00

The next day, Melanie is summarily Photoshopped out.

Natural Wonder

2007-06-06T19:34:00.000-07:00

Transmission would devastate the herd, which may explain why half-breeds are prevented from entering the circle.

No Turning Back

2007-06-05T19:23:00.000-07:00

Platform was fine. Platform she could handle. It was that nightmare of a high-dive that really made Bo-Tat nervous.

Coming of Age

2007-06-04T13:14:00.000-07:00

Lily learns that with her innocent little romp, she has, in fact, just broken her mother's back.

The Kavorka

2007-06-02T15:04:00.001-07:00

Despite his insecurities as a total noob, Martin managed to make the dance awkwardly sensual. Of course, his top wasn't hurting anything, either.

That's Why They're Called Accidents

2007-05-31T22:12:00.001-07:00

Yes, taking it to the party was a stupid idea, but no one could have predicted Kyle's hand would misfire, and placing blame won't bring Hector back.

Today's Bert Miller

2007-05-22T21:24:00.000-07:00

Keith's Cutco demonstration ran a little long, and his 'hard sell' approach made some in attendance uncomfortable.

Blue Chip

2007-05-19T16:58:00.000-07:00

Seeking only an update on his NASDAQ numbers, Hank is once again disappointed at the fickle nature of his Internet.

Feats of Strength

2007-05-17T21:55:00.000-07:00

With that, the matter was settled. Maintenance would scale back to garbage pickup twice weekly, and Finance would reallocate funds from some grant money to cover the cost of the improved security system.

The Elephant in the Room

2007-05-14T19:55:00.000-07:00

It was very kind of Rodney's friends to include his sister in their plans, but he still wondered if she occasionally felt like the odd man out.

Saturday Night at the Conclave

2007-05-10T20:05:00.000-07:00

"...and then here comes Cardinal Girard, right in the middle of my story, all, 'Look at me! Look at me!'"

Grandma Margie and Mugga

2007-05-08T17:33:00.000-07:00

Just weeks before his death, Jim Henson poured his heart and soul into two final creatures, easily the greatest triumph of his career.

On Fashion

2007-05-02T19:54:00.000-07:00

Exactly one too many pieces of flair.

The Moment of Truth

2007-04-30T21:46:00.000-07:00

Somewhere, deep down, I think each of us knew we would never see Father again.

Flashy, Makin' the Scene

2007-04-30T20:40:00.000-07:00

Though he personally felt that college was the wrong choice for himself, Christmas Present knew he should be there on his brother's special day.

Matthew 6:3

2007-04-29T20:42:00.000-07:00

Indeed, in those quiet hours, Raoul's left hand had literally no idea what his right was doing.

6th Birthday

2007-04-29T20:34:00.000-07:00

Only years later did Michael fully appreciate the subtlety of his mother's gift.